Peter begins with a word we have seen, 1"Likewise." The citizen honors the emperor, the servant bears an unjust master, and now 1"wives, be subject to your own husbands." He is speaking to a particular situation, women who came to faith in a household where the husband had not. Nothing here asks a wife to accept mistreatment. Peter's concern is witness in a divided home, and his method is a life that can be seen: 2"respectful and pure conduct." The word behind respectful is the ordinary word for fear, and the ESV Expository Commentary says the fear is aimed ultimately at God.
Then he speaks of beauty. 3"Do not let your adorning be external." Gold has appeared before in this letter, and each time it perished. The word for adorning, *kosmos*, is the word Peter used for the world in 1:20, and it carries an old sense of order and arrangement. His alternative is 4"the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." Imperishable is the word he used for the inheritance, and here it describes a character.
A quiet spirit is easy to misread. It is a settled spirit that is not scrambling to defend itself, and the verse about Sarah finishes the thought: 6"do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." A person who is unafraid does not need to grab control. Peter names Sarah, who 6"obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." The one time Scripture records her using that word is Genesis 18:12, a private thought while she laughed at the promise of a child. Respect like that does not depend on an audience.
Then he turns to husbands. 7"Live with your wives in an understanding way." The Greek behind understanding is knowledge. A husband is asked to do the work of knowing his wife, and the verse carries weight in its last clause: 7"so that your prayers may not be hindered." How a man treats his wife belongs to how he prays. The Bible Knowledge Commentary takes the weaker vessel to mean physical strength, which Peter turns into a reason for honor.
Then comes the phrase the verse turns on. 7"They are heirs with you of the grace of life." The Greek word is *synkleronomoi*, fellow heirs, and it reaches back to the start of the letter. The inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading belongs to her exactly as it belongs to him. Whatever differences of role or strength a marriage holds, they sit beneath that shared inheritance.
Peter gave each spouse a different word because each carries a different temptation. The wife in his example is tempted to fear losing control, and he answers with quiet trust in God. The husband is tempted to use his strength, and he answers with knowledge and honor. Both words rest on the same ground, a shared inheritance that neither one earned.
Ask what it would mean to treat the person across the table today as an heir of the very inheritance you are waiting for.
Prayer
Father, you have made husbands and wives heirs together of the grace of life. Give each of us a gentle and quiet spirit that does not fear what frightens, and teach us to honor one another as people you have called. Help us to know each other well, and keep our prayers from being hindered by how we treat those nearest to us. In Jesus' name, amen.